How To Look Noticeably Skinnier By July 4th

Category: Beer Humor
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Its a tall order, but ensuring that we look our absolute best for the upcoming barbecue (to include grilling, swimming, flag-inspired shit, and explosions for America) is an absolute must. Whether we like it or not, though, and even WITH lots of healthy eating, bloating happens. And when it does, we feel like weve eaten 10 slices of pizza and belong in sweatpants until the end of time. Obviously, no one wants to see a beer belly or gut hanging out of a crop top, so weve compiled a list of tips to live by this week so you can flaunt the flattest tummy in honor of our founding fathers. God bless America.

1. Cucumbers

When it comes to multi-tasking vegetables, cucumbers take the damn cake. Not only are they frequently worked into face masks and spa routines, but they have a welcome place in our diet regimen. Since theyre so full of water, cucumbers help flush out your system, helping you feel full yet not bloated AND super hydrated.

2. A Shit Load Of Water

Dehydration equals bloating. It sounds totally weird, but if youre eating a ton of salad and fruit and veggies yet NOT drinking water, all that fiber is just gonna sit and push out your midsection till you feel like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Chug water at all times.

3. Watermelon

Like cucumbers, watermelon has a ton of water and some sugar for a boost. Itll keep you hydrated and help curb the slowly ballooning belly at the top of your shorts.

4. Morning Walks

Any kind of physical activity will help get things moving and help relieve bloating. Not to be gross, but obviously walking around is going to help gas get through your system, lessening your tummy fat. Plus, youll be sweating, which will help get rid of some of that excess water weight.

5. Fennel Seeds

Fennel seedyes, the stuff that gives sausage its anise flavorare a natural gut buster. They can help relax your digestive system, aid in passing gas (again, sry), and move things along to help you feel skinnier and cuter. You can eat the seeds whole or boil them in a tea which sounds a lil gross but w/e.

6. Hands Off The Sweets

Surprise! Sugar makes you farty and bloaty. So, if youre super serious about being in shape for the big shindig celebrating ‘MURICA, stay away from the bakery and candy drawer. Basically, all that sugar feeds bacteria that LOVES making you feel bloated. Steer clear.

7. Ditch The Gum

If youre chewing gum, youre taking in excess air. This isnt rocket science. if you put your hand above your stomach and below your sternum and it feels hard and is sticking out, youre taking in too much air. So opt for nomming on a celery stick instead of the Big Red.

8. Take The Stairs

This is a no-brainer, but walking up a flight of stairs instead of standing in an elevator can help move things around and battle the bloat.

9. Sit-Ups Are Not The Enemy

We know theyre literally the worst, but doing a few sit-ups can help tone your stomach area so that, when you are bloated, you have better muscle control. This will keep you from having a tummy pooch and being embarrassed.

10. Carbs Are Evil

Like weve said literally a million times, carbs are making you bloat. So if you wanna look super cute in that crop top for the barbecue you dont plan on eating at for July 4th, make sure the week leading up to it is packed with water, salads, and lean protein. Like yeah, you can have a burger to prepare for the weekend, but wrap it in lettuce unless you want a gut. 


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