30 People Describe The Most INSANE Thing They Ever Saw At A Party

Category: Beer Humor
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2. a horse chilling in a manhattan high-rise

A horse just chilling in the kitchen of a high-rise apartment in Manhattan.

3. random naked guy attempting to fist himself

Does witnessing a random naked guy whacked out on drugs at a rave lying down on his back, bucking his hips up and down with his wang flapping about, whilst attempting to fist himself count as ridiculous? ‘Cause it looked pretty ridiculous to me.

4. the monster with green testicles

Went to a St. Patrick’s Day frat party during undergrad. There was some jacked football player wearing a kilt and flashing everyone his green-painted balls. He would just run into a room, jump on a table and kinda wag it around a bit, then run to another room. It was funny because there were these patches of green on couches and chairs, so you knew where he had been sitting through the night. A little later we saw a girl come out of a bathroom and flash us a big green smile.

5. a woman attempted to shove a big telescope up her pussy

Went to a friends house party around 7 years ago. There were at least 100 people in a two up two down house…. most people in a room witnessing a girl attempting to fit a pretty big telescope in her pussy. It was messed-up.

6. ‘now you wanna go joyriding?’

So years ago, when I was 19/20, I was in a hardcore metal band. We rented a house where the entire band lived, and we partied like crazy, every weekend. Hell, we would randomly get drunk for the fuck of it. At one point, this dude Tom… man… poor Tom…He rolls up to the party in this car, rolls down the window of the red Toyota, and yells, “HEY! WHO WANTS TO GO JOYRIDING!?!?”‘ The guitarist of my band comes out and goes, “Dude, I wouldn’t go joyriding with you unless you stole a bus.” Two hours later, a bus pulls up, he opens the doors, Now you wanna go joyriding?

7. ‘stop censoring my art!’

We were having a party at our house and one of the guests got a little out of hand. He started breaking beer bottles on the floor and dancing in the shards of glass in his bare feet. The dance floor cleared and a circle formed around him, watching as he began rolling around on the floor cutting himself on the glass. One of my housemates started yelling at him to get out and he turned to her and said, ‘Stop censoring my art!’

8. he pushed his car the whole three-mile journey

One of my friends turned up to a party in his original mini, something like this. He got completely wasted and didn’t want to drive home, so rather than take a taxi, he pushed his car the whole three-mile journey.

9. a girl unleashing the dark bomb and crying

A girl shitting her pants. Nobody knew her really, she was just there, unleashing the dark bomb and left crying. Never saw her again.

10. a guy broke a door off its hinges and walked off with it

Guy broke a door off its hinges while covered in blood. Then casually just walked off with it under his arm, without saying a word.

11. the sound of a runny turd squelching between his ass and a leather couch

As the party was winding down, my friend was passed on the sofa. He suddenly got up making some grunting sounds. Proceeded to stumble right round the coffee table in front of him and back to the couch. He then pulled down his jeans and boxers and sat back down….The sound of runny turd squelching between his ass and that leather couch will haunt me for the rest of my life.

12. two drunk deaf men slurring their hand signs

Once at a family party I saw two deaf men signing to each other, but at the same time getting much drunker. The signs just became slower and blurrier and the last I saw of them they were just hugging.

13. vomit on the ceiling of my bathroom

A party I threw back in college I went to take a piss, I found there was vomit on ceiling of my bathroom. Minutes later my TV was on fire.

14. urine-covered banana

This girl that was a friend of a friend that nobody else really knew was clearly on something and was pretty out of it. We are all sitting around having a good time, when out of nowhere this girl stands up, walks to the refrigerator, opens the crisper drawer (which had a couple bananas in it) pulls down her pants and proceeds to squat and piss in the crisper. Nobody stopped her when we saw what was going on because I think we were all in shock and couldnt really believe this was actually happening. Other friend that was trying to get with her, tried to calm the situation by grabbing a banana that had just been pissed on and peels it and eats it to show there is nothing wrong with them. Later in the night that girl gave a blowie to a 3rd friend in the back yard.

15. bone-town in the bushes

I was at a party in college, sitting on the front porch sipping a beer, when someone was forcibly ejected, thrown down the steps onto the concrete. Dude was fine, dusted himself off, turned around and ran back in. Came out two minutes later, unaccosted, with a girl on arm. They calmly walked down the steps he was so recently thrown down, made a hard left into the bushes, and immediately went to bone-town. They thought three-foot-tall shrubs would hide them completely. I saw. Everyone on the porch saw. Everyone walking down the busy college-town street saw. The public safety officer arrived, asked the girl ‘you good?’ She says ‘oh fuck yes!’ He proceeds to let them finish, then asks them to stay put, calls the cops, both get arrested.

16. anally regurgitated rib sandwich

I was at my friend’s place, with maybe fifteen other people drinking, and at that time, the McRib was back. This one guy Rob had brought one with him and devoured it, probably in under 30 seconds. About ten minutes later, he went wide-eyed and began to regurgitate it. In one piece, roughly the same size and shape as the original McRib he had just eaten, but reconstituted out of McRib pulp pasted together with Busch Lite. It landed on his stomach and sat there for a second until someone went Hey! The McRib is back!

17. the first time I ever received pity sex

In college I was at a huge house party on a Thursday night. My girlfriend claimed to have to study for a tough exam so I rolled out solo while she ‘stayed in.’ This party was pretty rambunctious and wild, with people scattered throughout the 2 floors and a roof/deck.

At one point in the party I notice that the bottom/main floor was emptying out and I hear a lot of noise on the roof. So I head upstairs to see what’s going on and all the guys and girls are hooting, hollering, cheering, etc so I get closer to get a peak at what they are cheering.

Across the street in the 3rd floor of an apartment building, slightly below our line of vision, there is a dude bending this girl over a bar stool type chair with her face near the window. It was dark out but there’s a small amount of background light in the room and because of the lighting of the streetlight we can all see pretty clearly. As I focus in further, I see that it’s my girlfriend getting her back blown out.

In a fit of drunken anger I throw a half can of beer across the street and amazingly hit near the window enough that they both look up and see their audience across the street. Then they both seem to scatter and everyone on the roof cheers loudly, with only 2 or 3 people I know closely realizing that it’s my girlfriend.

I storm downstairs and wait outside the apartment building, until she finally exits 20 minutes later. I doubt she saw me in the crowd on the roof but she quickly found out I saw or at least knew as I cursed her our for 5 minutes and stormed back to the party.

It was pretty awkward at the party when I returned (at least for half of the party who were sober enough to sort of realize what was going on) and proceeded to get drunker. Later that night I was approached by a decent looking girl who saw it all go down. And that kids, was the first time I ever received pity sex.

18. Girl getting finger-banged by a gay guy on the kitchen table

Girl getting finger-banged by a gay guy on the kitchen table while everyone was standing around, the weird thing was that no one seemed fazed by it they just saw it and continued on with the party.

19. the levitating dollar bill

Senior year in high school we are at a bash out in the woods at a buddy’s houseI dont remember the occasion but someone managed to get ‘strippers.’ Fast-forward to the wee hours of the morningeveryone is completely inebriated and only one of the girls is still doing her thing…she says she can pick up money with her crusty clamwe all call BS and proceed to throw whatever paper money we had on the ground and no shitthis chick was picking it up using nothing but her clam jam…but it gets better…she says she can do ‘magic tricks.’ With the crumpled (and soggy) dollar still in the grips of her delicate lady party, she rolls around on to her back and lifts her legs up into the air and then it happens…Pffffft and the dollar suddenly lifted from her crotch. Dead silence…no one knew what to do or what to say….One guy in the back finally speaks up.. Did…did she just?! Tl;dr : went to a party and saw a stripper levitate a dollar using the magic power of pussy farts.

20. It was scary as shit how everyone went ape on him

This guy everyone kinda knew got shitfaced at my mate’s party and started pissing everyone off. Groped some guy’s girlfriend, got caught spitting in someone’s drink, asked some bald guy in the hallway if he shaves his pussy too, etc. we ended up with 5 angry Slavs in tracksuits knocking on the door, looking for a fight. It didn’t help that nobody liked him before he started pulling this shit that night, he’s basically even a bigger dick sober. So at some point this dude passes the fuck out from drinking so much, starts shaking like he has a seizure, eyes rolled up and he doesn’t react to anything. Some girl he groped saw this as an opportunity to slap the fuck out of him to snap him out of it. And then it got really fucking scary, some guy yelled he’s faking it and a fucking crowd formed, this was some Stephen King shit, in two minutes everyone was just going berserk on this bloke to see how much he’s willing to fake it (he wasn’t faking it). I know he was a dick, but holy fucking hell, this was straight out of a horror film, 30 people, girls, guys, his classmates, all going fucking nuts, pinches went to slaps, slaps turned to punches. Everyone just took turns and it was scary how everyone thought it was funny and okay since everyone else was doing it, while this guy is having a fucking stroke or something and obviously needed medical help. It was scary as shit how everyone went ape on him, these were all fairly normal people.

21. catfight!!!

A party at my buddy’s house at in the country in small town USA, so basically all the teenagers in the county were there. Two girls who were after the same guy get into it over a guy. You think oh they’ll argue maybe fight no big deal. Well shit goes down. They look at him trying to figure out who’s side he’s on, and he takes a drink of his beer, shrugs, and says this isn’t my fight, you two can fight about it. So Amy (fake names, because I didn’t even know those hoes) tackles Caitlin to the floor, and gets on top of her, and she leaned back ready to swing. I thought this is over, this girl is done. Nope. Caitlin does some gymnast shit, and throws her own legs up around Amy’s body, and kung food her backwards onto her back onto the concrete. Caitlin jumps on top of Amy in an instant, while her tits fall out of her shirt (she had a deep v neck on with no bra, her boobs were totally unprepared for the battle at hand). Well she starts punching Amy, but realizes that although she’s beating this girls ass while her tits are out, so she rips off Amy’s shirt and starts the onslaught of punching fury again. Amy was able to pull her close and roll her around on the floor, as all of their high school friends watched. It was epic.

22. they flip the girl over and it turns out to be his sister

College party at a frat house. Walk into the basement to get more booze when you see these two guys spit-roasting a girl. Another guy walks down the stairs, sees what’s going on and wants in on the action. He takes the place of the guy in the back and the three of them are going at it. They decide to flip the girl over…and it turns out to be his sister that was visiting him that weekend. From what I heard, there was much therapy afterwards.

23. a guy swapped the front and back doors and no one noticed

A friend of mine was at a party years ago and managed to take the front door off its hinges, and swap it with the back door. It took him an hour with help and no one noticed until the next day. The commitment he had that night was breathtaking to say the least.

24. she’s 17, on heroin, and pregnant

In maybe 1986 or so, outside a house party, a muscle car comes sliding around the corner with a screaming girl on the hood, holding on at the windshield part. The car did a burnout, and she was actually laughing and having a blast. I had never been to a real party before, so l kind of just went ‘wow.’ My buddy said ‘Yeah, she’s 17. She’s on heroin. & she’s pregnant.’ This was in Great Falls, MT. She looked like a perfectly normal cute girl next door. I bet she doesn’t now.

25. force-feeding vodka to a house chicken

I walked in a room and saw several very intoxicated people attempting to get a house chicken to drink vodka. This also happened in New York City, and I had never seen a chicken in real life prior to this.

26. drunk guy asking attractive girls to tase him

A friend got drunk and started propositioning attractive females to Tase him and throw darts at his chest. He was Tased also multiple times and took it like a champ, and he probably took a half a dozen darts to the chest, with one impressive throw lodging into his sternum. He passed out shortly after at 11:30 pm.

27. she slapped her boyfriend with another guy’s cum all over her hand

This chick found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her. She went into some room and jerked off some random dude, then slapped her boyfriend in the face with his cum all over her hand. I thought he was going to kill her.

28. dog fucker

Group of us (ages 17-19) around a bonfire drinking beers and girls start asking dudes truth or dare questions. Things start heating up and sexual tension is building up until my buddy asks this drunk girl who chose truth what her craziest masturbation story was. she tells us that mid way through finger banging herself she let her german shepherd mount her and she came. killed the mood that was set because she started bawling when one of the guys called her a dog fucker and the rest of the girls tried to take care of her.

29. girl made out with unconscious guy for ten minutes

Sorority girl making out with the drunk passed out carcass of a fraternity guy. For like ten minutes. He literally did not move at all. After she left to go dance again 4 of his buddies had to carry him out.

30. the day I learned of the innate violence of man

I went to a party in high school that made me believe in mass hysteria similar to wartime Germany. I’ve never seen so many normal become so destructive on the turn of a dime. This chick who was kind of a bitch threw a house party while her parents were out of town. A lot of the school showed up. Guess she thought too many people were there and so she announces that she called the cops. This didn’t sit well with people for some reason and everyone basically rioted. I’m in the basement and see one kid playing golf threw the glass panes of the French doors, and then throwing the TVremote through the ones he missed. I pass a bathroom and a guy is standing on the sink, jumps down smashing through all the drawers that he opened and then awkwardly putting the drawers back in like nothing happened. Then he starts cutting the bottoms of the shampoo bottles out and arranging them like normal. I make my way to the stairs to see a portly kid run down them, use the couch at the bottom as a trampoline and slam into the drywall, leaving a nice Mexican-sized hole. Upstairs in the kitchen, one kid from band class is emptying spice bottles up in the back of the cutlery drawer because fuck oregano, and then he grabs some tin foil, throw it in the microwave and set it for 10 minutes and walk away. People start escaping out to the back deck/yard because it opened to a big field and an easy escape from the cops. One of the neighbors was outside yelling at everyone and this guy walks out with a stack of dinner plates and proceeds to throw them into the darkness, and one directly at the neighbor. A group of guys were standing on the deck trying to make sure everyone was with them, but they realize they are missing one and it was too hard to go back in through the door while everyone is flooding out, so one guy throws a lawn chair through the glass window, and their fucking buddy comes bounding out like he somehow psychically knew the path was made for him. At this point in the chaos, I’m like fuck this and I’m up climbing over the wooden fence which is the only way out, but some people cannot make it over the fence so they start to push the entire fence overthis fence was also every neighbors fence as it was all connected, but it just buckled over like some kind of cheap zombie speed bump. And that was the day I learned of the innate violence of man.